Shudder

I'm at a loss for words
I'm clueless and
naive
The tears on the edge of my eyes
About to fall anytime
Always on
the brink
And I have been looking for ways
Continuously hoping I could
stop
Not to think

I fear that I'm losing you
I shudder at
the thought
That at any moment I could
Lose Myself
In You
But I
shudder even more
at the mere thought
That at any moment
I
could
Lose You...

And that fear inside me is slowly building
up
Knowing that holding on to you tight
is Not a Right that I've been
liberally given
Cornered in a dark alley
Unable to make sense
Out of
all of these
Mind games working overtime
Desperately
trying

I fear that I might lose you
I shudder at the very
thought
Any second now I too might be gone
For so long now
I have been
out of touch-
Longing for you
But I have always been anticipating,
And
constantly waiting
For You
For so long now...