Locked In

An emptiness that locks me in
The dungeon of hope and despair
Can I cling to my pride-my salvation?
In love and war, is it really fair?

Wicked

Agitated,
Now so slow
For the tenth time,
I remain here.
I remain cuddled up in my
Fragile bones.
So scared to float
What is it in the structure
Built in with trickery,
Lies and sovereignty?
While all fuzzled
Strength withdrawn
With nothin' to fight on.

Frustratingly mad
What more from the shadows
The screeching voice irks to release
A sweet vengeful outburst
Release of gorgeous agony
Seeping from inside me
Veins within are all broken
Madly, wonderfully laden
Wait until complete silence
Covers the earth,
My dry, sullen earth...

From Where I Belong

This ambivalent place is keeping me unsafe
From where I peeked at a hole into.
The footsteps behind are keeping me at pace
Finally probing the mysteru in your kind, gentle face.

Am I a part of you as you are a part of me?
Then where are these angry whispers comin' from?
From where I peeked at a hole into,
I discovered fragments of the person I'm see in you.

In time, the angels might carry their own wings
The sky will have closed its doors of heavenly surge.
And I, I will have remained unhinged too
From where I peeked at a hole into.

So far from mine own hopes and dreams
So far from the place of flowing rivers and streams
You tell me what my heart song is
From where I belong, I will reveal this.

But If These Dreams Continue to Haunt Me

written last February 27th of the year 2000


Because these dreams continue to haunt me
Old faded mem'ries become crystal magic
Clear as the water in the flowing river
As the hand that rocks the cradle
Surfaced with a cold shiver

It was once more as it was before
That same eerie feeling I was
Unconsciously concealing
And I was wishing it could only be a dream
A dream of goblins, monsters and vampyrs in the night

That had me running frantically towards the light
Searching for safety
For a place to hide away my fears
And uncontrollably drown my tears.

May these dreams continue to haunt me then
So that when I wake up (when I open my eyes),
I'd assure myself that I was only having a nightmare
I'd be prepared to tell myself lies--anything
Anything at all that I could do to protect myself

To comfort thine own vulnerability
From the harm that the truth can inflict upon me
It hurts so much to see reality as something
That is too far from me, something I can never touch,
So it seems, nor have a glimpse.

I am afraid now, though
I am scared as hell that I
Would never have the chance
One last chance to be the person I want to be
If these dreams continue to haunt me...

A Mother's Plea

written last February 11th of the year 2000


I have tried to be as patient as can be
With you drawing out everything from me
I have watched you come and go as you please
Never did you once beg on your knees.

I never did deprive you of anything
You had been given more than everything
With the smell of freedom you grabbed instantly
Never did you once looked back at me.

I had thought it was the right thing to do
I never thought of what it would do to you
But if I had only known sooner,
I would have loved you a little bit earlier.

I never did complain to anyone at all
Having to be always there whenever you fall
Your bitterness have not yet subsided
And I have yet to let it pass undecided.

I have tried to understand your situation
Since it was someone else who held my obligation
You constantly remind me of this memory
As though you delight in seeing me lonely.

I never wanted any of this
I only wished to make up and kiss
Is it really that hard on your part,
To find me a place somewhere in your heart?

On the Wrong Side

At the top of the cliff, I'd climb and jump off
I'd slide down the railings and fly off
I'd glide and clip my wings off
I'd ride and throw myself off

I'd hidden and I'd died
'Cause I've been on the wrong side
after all...

Patiently

you ask me to try to understand you
never have time to talk it over with you
always busy with work and I feel pushed aside

'cause everytime I call you up
you'd always put me on hold
like I'm always put on a pedestal
that's what you do to me, you see

I'm not crazy bout the idea
of you expecting me to be always around
don't take me for granted
'cause I won't be patiently hangin' round
still waitin' for you...